it’s gonna work out

so i am moving back to dundee after the unhappiest year of my recent life, cooped up in a miserable flat in glasgow. i’ve had a great job with great colleagues but work’s only one third of the day’s hours. it ain’t enough, man. i’ve been really unwell, most unwell in a long time. i’ve just exhausted my body to a point where it seems all pretty pointless and desperate and every time i look in the mirror i see some grey-colored, probably could use a hot supper – type deeply stressed and unhappy mess. it’s such a paradox how anxious being with people and in social situations makes me and how i stress about upcoming events and occasions, yet i am so unhappy when i can’t see my best-loved people. being lonely makes you ill. i’ve felt emotionally deprived, which i guess makes me feel guilty because i have a roof on my head and a job and money for nice dinners. i guess i understand i really ought to aim for the whole picture – work, social relationships, finance, family all being good or at least reasonable. i look forward to meeting new people, hanging out with my old buddies, being with the man i love when i want to. as an idea, it seems ace.

Published in: on August 21, 2010 at 6:03 pm  Leave a Comment  

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